Did anyone else realise…
We now all know…
Once upon a time, there was a magical place where it never rained.
I’m surprised that Joss got people to actually make that movie
Considering his whole pitch must have been “So there’s a cabin, and it’s in the woods, and some stuff happens, and then everybody dies”
I’m not sure what I expected.
But that might be the most satisfying end to a horror movie ever.
Giant hand. And that’s it.
So we’re just going to let the world end. Okay, that’s cool.
BRING ON THE ANCIENTS!
OF COURSE YOU’RE GOING TO KILL THE ONLY REASON YOU’RE ALIVE
WHAT ELSE WOULD YOU DO?
Okay, dying is an option
HELLO SIGOURNEY WEAVER
WHAT TERRORS DO YOU BRING
Joss Whedon must have written this to fulfill every single one of his character death fantasies.
Friendly fire? Check
Killed by monster? Check
Motorcycle crash into giant force field? Check
Stabbed through the heart by a large piece of metal while in the cockpit of a transportation vessel? Not that one again….
Hit in the head by an axe? Check
Decapitated by a zombie? Check
and on and on…
I feel like Agent Coulson.
“So that’s what [that monster] does.”
Well, if all that gore doesn’t placate “the Ancients” I don’t know what will.
That is disgusting and disturbing. Scale? 8/10.
So that’s some useful exposition.
I think I know what’s going on now!
Stuck in a glass cube surrounded by monsters?
That would not be my preferred way to die.
I get claustrophobic.
The elevator is creeping me out.
Glass windows? Blackness without?
Here comes the OHHHHHGADAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGHflagnar
Um, I knew that was coming.
“Yeah, I kinda dismembered that guy with a trowel”
OKAY THAT’S NOT POSSIBLE. SHE WAS TOTALLY DEAD.
AND SO WAS HE!
Hold the phone!
How is there still time left in this movie?
They’re all dead now.
Is the last 25 minutes just the party?
WOW THAT CAME OUT OF NOWHERE.
This is like Joss Whedon paradise. Everybody dies!
Will she drown?
Virgin’s death is optional? What does that mean?
So we need to keep “the Ancients” from rising.
And we do that by making really gory reality television?
Man, earth’s been screwed up for a long time if that’s what it takes.
Wait, did she just kill a zombie?
So the white shirt guys are trying to kill them.
Okay, so kill off the one who figured it out.
Now what happens?
Two down three to go.
CLOSE THE DOOR
WHAT IS HAPPENING?
WHAT ARE THEY PRAYING TO?
IS THAT BLOOD?
I’m so confused.
Creepy zombie killers kill the mood.
Are they really killing off a character that fast?